"Look at her, a prisoner of the gutters
"Condemned by every syllable she utters
"By right she should be taken out and hung
"For the cold-blooded murder
of the English tongue"
Heavens, what a sound!
"This is what the British population
"Calls an elementary education"
Come, sir, I think you've picked
a poor example.
Did I?
"Hear them down in Soho Square
Dropping H's everywhere
"Speaking English any way they like
"Hey, you, sir, did you go to school?
"What ya tike me for, a fool?
"No one taught him 'take' instead of 'tike'
"Hear a Yorkshireman, or worse
Hear a Cornishman converse
"I'd rather hear a choir singing flat
"Chickens cackling in a barn
Just like this one
"Garn!
"Garn!
"I ask you, sir, what sort of word is that?
"It's 'aoow' and 'garn'
that keep her in her place
"Not her wretched clothes and dirty face
"Why can't the English
teach their children how to speak?
"This verbal class distinction
by now should be antique
"If you spoke as she does, sir,
instead of the way you do
"Why, you might be selling flowers, too"
I beg your pardon.
"An Englishman's way of speaking
absolutely classifies him
"The moment he talks he makes
some other Englishman despise him
"One common language
I'm afraid we'll never get
"Oh, why can't the English learn to...
"...set a good example to people
whose English is painful to your ears
"The Scotch and the Irish
leave you close to tears
"There even are places
where English completely disappears
"Why, in America
they haven't used it for years!
"Why can't the English
teach their children how to speak?
"Norwegians learn Norwegian,
the Greeks are taught their Greek
"In France every Frenchman
knows his language from 'A' to 'Z'
"The French don't care
what they do actually
"As long as they pronounce it properly
"Arabians learn Arabian
with the speed of summer lightning
"The Hebrews learn it backwards
which is absolutely frightening
"Use proper English,
you're regarded as a freak
"Oh, why can't the English
"Why can't the English learn to speak?"