I called Mama, she was so happy she cried,
she wants you to have her wedding gown,
it's white lace.
Osgood, I can't get married in your mother's dress.
She and I, we're not built the same way.
We can have it altered.
Oh, no you don't!
Osgood, I'm going to level with you.
We can't get married at all.
Why not?
Well.
...in the first place, I'm not a natural blonde.
It doesn't matter.
I smoke. I smoke all the time.
I don't care.
I have a terrible past. For three years now,
I've been living with a saxophone player.
I forgive you.
I can never have children.
We can adopt some.
Well, you don't understand, Osgood!
I'm a MAN!
Well, nobody's perfect.